When we come for you, where will you go? You cannot hide forever. What chance do you have if you don’t know where “safe” is? If the internet survives long enough, you may be able to consult the Map of the Dead. This map will show you the locations for food, guns, police, hospitals and the danger zones to look out for.. HA! Police. You are all the same walking meals. With or without a badge.

Even WTVR News had the foresight to warn you all back in April. And as one of their reporters fled in horror, narrowly escaping my infectious clutches, I was heard speaking of this map’s futility.

“BWAAAHAHA! You humans..  you have spirit left in you, but not for long. When the struggle to keep order becomes futile, and all of the modern conveniences of life slip away, the locations on these maps will only serve as reminder of where our meals are taken. Even now, as you prepare for our inevitable return, do you not understand.. WE ARE COMING FOR YOU!”

Catch the rest of his report at wtvr.com here.

One word of caution. If you are anywhere near Carytown on Saturday, October 27th, may God help you!